Half year check

Half year check

Half of 2021 is almost done and what a year this one is turning out to be. Last year is feels like a party compared to this one; ironically, there was a lot of excitement when while ringing in this year. 

The first half has been a despondent one, with a lot of losses in one way or another. It brought with it a feeling of continuous hopelessness and void. Again, people were dying, there was confusion and fear of the pandemic which felt worse than the previous year… in spite of experiencing it once before, the swiftness at which the second wave came, and the lack of preparedness crippled the healthcare systems and almost brought it to it’s knees. And this time it felt closer, more real, and scarier than before. After a couple of months, slowly things started getting better. We are still not out of it, and are in constant gloom of an impending third wave. Hopefully the pace of vaccination will prove to be a deterrent and reduce the severity of this one. 

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The ugly and the not so beautiful

The ugly and the not so beautiful

One would think that the recent pandemic would bring out the best in people; but, as it turns out, apparently not; in India, it seems to be bringing out the beast in a lot of them. Some of the incidents make you wonder where humanity has disappeared.

Sadly though, it’s not like this is something that started during the years of the pandemic, it has been there from as far as one can remember. Ironically, the crimes against women are among the highest in the same country where they are worshipped. What is the point folding your hands in front of a woman to ask for all that you desire and then using those same hands to abuse and exploit the one who you spend your life with!

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Home

Home

Home. What is home? What is being at home? One word with so much meaning. For me, home is where my heart is. That place where I can be myself. Let go of all pretenses. It is also being with the people I am most comfortable with. My husband; my closest family; my small circle of friends.

Till date, I have lived in three cities. The city I grew up in, the one where I worked and the one I moved to post-marriage. Each of these cities have shaped a part of me; which has made me who I am today.

The city I grew up in – ‘Kochi’ (in Kerala, India) will always be one of my most favourite place. Going back there is a feeling that can neither be expressed nor spoken. It has to be felt. That feeling is what home means to me. During the drive from the

Kochi
Glimpses of Kochi {Source: Google Images}

airport to my parent’s house, I keep a look out to see what has changed – There is pride when something has improved and there is sadness when something old is no more. Even today, during my visits, I make a point to visit my old haunts – because it makes me feel whole and rejuvenated. A coastal city, it is practically like an island – if not for the fact that almost at every corner there is a bridge connecting it to the rest of the city. It is a quaint place (well not so quiet and quaint anymore); but the beach and the waterfront place is what makes me fall in love every single time. That was where I grew up. That was where I spent the first twenty – four years of my life. So quite a lot has happened there!

 

Chennai
Some views of Chennai {Source: Google Images}

After being at home for so long, I was itching to experience living on my own. And that is how I landed in Chennai (literally – I did catch a flight there after all) in the state of Tamil Nadu, when I got my first job post – qualification. Now, for a girl who’s had a slightly over-protective life, this was a welcoming experience. I do admit it was overwhelming initially; but a small bunch of good friends and fun room mates soon made me feel at home. Plus the city wasn’t totally alien to me. I used to visit my aunt there often. So I pretty much knew what to expect. The one year there taught me lessons too. There were good days and bad. But the icing on the cake was that this is the city where I ended up meeting my future husband for the first time so hey I can’t not like the place, right! 😉

 

After spending a year-and-a-half in Chennai, here I am in Bengaluru (Karnataka). Marriage brought me to the city I was always fascinated by and where I wanted to settle eventually. In spite of not spending much time here, all the previous short trips I made to the city left me wanting more. It’s been three years now and I’ve managed to know

Bangalore
Bengaluru at a glance {Source: Google Images}

about one side of the city. I may or may not ever know the city fully but yes I love living here. There is a spirit in the city that captures your heart. You can’t help get caught up in the buzz and the positivity. The mix of various cultures make it one of the most popular cosmopolitan hubs in India. And though it hasn’t been too long here, yes this city feels like home.

 

Personally, I think it is not just a place that makes you feel at home – it is also the company you have. Though I like my alone time, I am not a fan of constantly being alone. In each of the cities, I would not have felt at ease if not for the people I used to be with. Each person has influenced my life. Be it my family or friends. Without each of them, I wouldn’t have been this much at ease with myself. I am sure I would have been a different person altogether. Today, when I think of being at home, the first thought that crosses my mind is being surrounded by each of these people in the city that I love! 🙂

 

The Boy and the Chicken

The Boy and the Chicken

This is the story of a boy….
Who befriended a clucking chicken, 
And thought it was a toy.

Running and jumping and clucking they would do;
With both of them around, it was all hullabaloo.

Then one day the chicken went missing; 
The little boy did a lot of searching. 

But even after a lot of looking around,
The chicken was nowhere to be found.

When he went back home, his little heart dropped;
For there was a Fried chicken on the table top!

He cried and cried all day long;
Alas! His new friend was gone.

This is so unfair he thought
That chicken should never have been bought!

The End.

Hurray! I’m on a holiday!

Hurray! I’m on a holiday!

It’s been a year since my last proper holiday. I had forgotten how refreshing it can be!

Currently, being on a holiday has made me realise why you need to take them..holidays are like food for the soul. You get perspective on things and realise how big the world really is. The petty things one keeps cribbing about does not natter. In the humdrum of a daily routine, you tend to forget this and travel is one of the few things that can remind you. Atleast, it does for me.

It’s pure joy to wake up and walk around, taking in the place, how it functions; what makes it tick, just the feel of it.. funny thing is how similar people can be! Of course, there are cultural differences that come up, but at heart, if you notice, you can spot similarities at various levels!

It’s so satisfying, to take a break for a couple of weeks, to get up in mornings, chill, roam around..goof up and then to be able to laugh over it. Pure bliss! For an avid reader like me, a trip to the UK can be very exciting.. it’s like things you have read about you tend to relate to what you see around you. You’re just walking around a random street and you see fancy artsy statues or some quaint building, you can’t help but stand and take it in for a long minute.

The tower bridge felt like something straight out of a dream! I could just go on about each place that fascinated me. But it would be a mighty long post.. :)!

Ooh got to go now, the station I need to get off at is here. Toodly doo till next time!

Names will never hurt me, I think!

Names will never hurt me, I think!

One of my biggest weakness is that I tend to take certain statements made at me personally; but walk around pretending not to care. However, unfortunately, suppressed feelings can be a bitch that comes and bites you right in the ass!

Currently, I am half sulking about how a co-worker during her farewell lunch called me “Jolly” and “easy going”. Normally, I wouldn’t really care about it. This particular one, is a nasty piece of work. Pretentious at best, the kind who bitches about you, making sure you get to hear about it!

Initially, I used to think I get along decently with her, as it turns out, apparently not. Go, figure!

Now, the inner turmoil I am trying to understand is :

1. Whether it is a ego hit that I could not see through her facade

2. Whether there is a sense of hurt/betrayal stemming from the initial bitching that happened

3. Whether it is a feeling of unfairness that people like these seem to get away with everything. Hmph!

As I slowly try to wade my way above all these feelings, I think it could be a mix of one or all three. Who knows! But, I do know I need to stop paying too much attention to what people say.

It is hard work..pretending you have a thick skin, when the one you have is really as thin as a wafer! But I need to get there, one way or another. Sigh!

The downside is, when you realise how reactive you are on the inside, it kind of brings back all your insecurities like a tidal wave. The upside is, I can consider people like these test subjects and tweak my external behaviour accordingly. Atleast that makes it less overwhelming 🙂

With all these thoughts swimming in my head, I came across this quote and found it soothing:

When you finally learn that a person’s behaviour has more to do with their own internal struggle, you learn grace

– Allison Aars

On that note, toodles till next time!

Another quarter down!

Another quarter down!

Travelling for work is something new that I have started recently, and as much as I like to travel, work trips are nothing like taking a holiday…more so, when you are stuck with colleagues you are not fond of! This is the time, when I try to bury myself in work so that the days go faster. So, the result is that it feels like being a Hamster on a running wheel. The routine is usually eat-work-sleep; repeat!

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The joy of small things

The joy of small things

It’s funny how the smallest of things can sometimes bring you a truckload of happiness. Yesterday, I was driving back from work, preparing myself for a long ride back since I had to pick up a few things on the way.. and what I saw in front of me had me smiling for a major part of the journey.

Looking around while driving, a sudden movement near the roof of the car in front of me caught my attention. Curious, I started paying more attention to this particular one. It was a dark blue Hyundai Verna. And, to my amusement, as I continued watching it, a head popped out the sun roof ! and within a minute, another small head popped up beside it.

So, in the middle of all that chaotic traffic, two kids were hanging out the sun roof of their car, having the time of their lives, waving their hands around, making faces at people passing by and generally have a blast! The elder one was around 7 and the younger one must have been couple of years younger than her.  The cutest bit was, how she held her brother protectively to make sure he was safe.

It was pure joy to watch them like that, so much innocence, happy in their own world; It was not just me, they brought smiles to a lot of people on the road J. Even after they had gone their way, I couldn’t help smiling just thinking about them, in fact, I am smiling as I am writing this just thinking about them!

If only we could maintain some of the simplicity we have as kids, life would be much simpler wouldn’t it. Sometimes I do seriously think they are a lot more mature than us adults, who find reasons to complain, just about everything!

After a long day of work though, seeing something like this is definitely the highlight of the day. And for all the happiness that they unknowingly spread around, I hope wherever they are now, the kids have a happy childhood and do not grow up too soon 😉

Photo by Sander Weeteling on Unsplash

The spark in the dark

The spark in the dark

What is Love? I hadn’t really thought about it in a long time. Then, just the other day, as I was driving home from work I was listening to a talk show on the radio where the discussion was around emotions and people can feel / not feel them. It was quite an interesting one. Hearing this discussion kind of sent me down memory lane to think about my own story..

My earliest introduction to love was probably when I was around 11 – 12 years, thanks to the few romantic comedies I was allowed to watch; or perhaps even younger because of Fairy Tales (where all stories have a happy ending) Oh! They filled my head with a lot of fanciful ideas about love.. I guess, I was more in love with the idea of falling in love than realising the implications it came with.

As I grew up, multiple heart breaks later, somewhere my faith and ideas started wavering before they flickered off fully; to the extent I wasn’t even sure I felt anything anymore. Then, things changed again after I met my husband!

In the last four years I found out it is possible for a person with a whole heart to heal a person with a cracked heart. The process may be slightly slow, but happen, it does. To me, love has taken a new meaning now. I have begun to believe that it is not a single emotion, but, a tangled web of many emotions. Or rather, if I may put it like that, it stirs up a lot of emotions in you.

It brings:

Joy – when you are together

Sadness – the time you spend apart on travel

Pure joy – meeting after ages

Anger – sometimes driving the other person mad is also a part of the package (a.k.a. quirks / other mechanisms)

Wonder – that you are capable of being unconditionally loved by somebody, while not realising that you deserve it

It is liberating, being with him, for I can be myself; do the silly things that I want to do, tell him something I did even though that may not have been the brightest / smartest thing I have done… nothing beats looking into those deep brown eyes. I could go on doing it for hours together! The touch of his hands still give me goose bumps.

As much as we are used to it, staying apart is painful every single time. It feels like the better part of you is missing. It’s like a hollow shadow is following you around. When we do end up getting back home together, it’s quite the party 😉

As is typical of him, when he’s at home, I am getting a lot of love in the form of gentle intermittent prodding to see if I am done or just some itty bitty information on what happened during the day. I love it, the sound of his voice, the way he smells, even his imperfections feel perfect.

So, in my opinion, I feel love is a vast ocean of emotions and expressions that cannot be defined. It can only be felt! Now that I am used to it, I would never trade it for anything else; for this is what reminds me that I have a heart, one that is beating. Sometimes, the only trigger you need is a person to tell or show you you can be loved, and I cannot think of any emotion right now that could be stronger than this one!

Till next time, cheers!

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!!

Well, the new year is here. It seems to have brought with it a lot of hope. At least, I think so. I do not know why, but I can feel it.

I haven’t felt this excited about the start of a New Year in recent times. I think there is a lot that’s meant to happen.  To be honest, I think I deserve a Treat this year; after how last year turned out. 

I hope it turns out to be a good one for my family as well. After all, that’s all that you need right.. peace within your home.

So, here’s hoping this new year brings calm, peace and tranquillity to all of us..  Happy New Year fellow bloggers. Here’s to a year filled with a whole lot of blogging, reading and simply cherishing life. 

Cheers!